Where I’ve Been & What I’ve Been Doing

I know. I know, it’s been forever. You’d be forgiven for thinking I went through a black hole to another universe, or moved to Switzerland and became a secret agent. Unsurprisingly, neither of those things have happened in the past year since I last properly blogged. What has happened is perhaps less exciting, but just as important in the story of me, and my journey of personal development.

Personal development is a weird term when you think about it. It’s like we’re the latest model of a new tech product, undergoing development to produce the best product possible. For a really long time, that’s how I viewed it. I was a beta version of myself, waiting for my upgrades before I released version 2.0 to the world. Except in life you can’t keep yourself in beta, because that means you’re waiting. Waiting for things to ‘click’ into place, waiting to be ‘ready’, waiting until you feel good enough. The truth is, I am ready, I am good enough. The time to launch myself into the world is now, today, yesterday, next week, and every day. If I want to truly develop as a person, I have to put myself out into the world. The messy, incomplete, flawed version of myself. If I don’t I will never learn how to grow.

I could spend all day writing about everything that’s happened to me in the past year. The ups, the downs, the triumphs and failures. My thoughts and feelings for the past 12 months would take up a lot of words, and to be honest nobody really wants to read all that. So instead, I’m going to give you a little update, and share the important lessons I’ve been learning for the last year.

First things first, I’ve moved again. This was the twentieth time I’ve moved in my life, but this time I feel like it’s going to stick for a while. I moved to Slough, a town just outside of London, into a lovely 1 bed flat with my boyfriend. Which brings me to the second big life update. M and I have been together for almost 11 months now, and we are a solid team. In him I’ve found someone I can really be myself around, who ‘gets’ me, and puts up with my weird quirks and flaws. Somebody to laugh with, to experience new things with, and create familiar routines alike. Someone to hold, and cry with, and someone to tell my secrets and dreams to. He’s my best friend, and I have the absolute privilege to wake up next to him every day.

I’m still in the same job I was when I last blogged, I’ve been here over a year now. It’s taught me a lot, and is the longest I’ve been in the same job so far in my career. I know I won’t be here forever, but there are lots of opportunities for doing extra training and, that word again, development.

As I talked about in my last blog, I have recently realised that I have a long, complicated relationship with perfectionism. This is the belief that I’m not ‘good enough’, and the setting of unrealistic goals and expectations in my desire to be ‘better’. So that’s something I’m making a conscious, real effort to work on this year. I’ve signed up to a couple of courses, and am doing a training programme through work around self-development and goal setting for personal and professional goals.

The most important update though, is that I am finally taking steps towards realising my dream. This year so far I have given 2 talks around wellbeing, self-care, confidence, and resilience. One to a group of employees at a company in central London, and one to year 11 girls at a school in Preston. It’s been an honour to start out in this venture, and I’ve already learned a lot to help me improve and get ready to launch my social enterprise. Having the chance to connect with people on these issues, which I am extremely passionate about, is amazing, and I still can’t quite believe that it’s happening.

I am determined to use this momentum. To plan more, improve my workshops, book more of them, and to build my presence. That means blogging more (blogging at all!) and using social media in a way that is connecting me with the people I want to talk to. So this is my promise, to hold myself accountable:

• I promise to blog once a week at least.
• I promise to go on Twitter and spread positivity at least 3 times a week.
• I promise to redo, and launch, my wellbeing workbook.

2018 is the year I make my dreams come true. Let’s do this.

What are you working on at the moment? Tell me in the comments – I’d love to chat about goals, and help support other people with theirs!

Remember to look for the good things, no matter how small.

Have a lush day,

Jenny