Last week I had a revelation. In fact, I’ve had a series of them, one after the other, and a sudden intense burst of motivation, inspiration, and desire to MOVE. The cause of all this positive momentum? Connecting with others.
I have been feeling stuck for a long time. It started off small, with frustrations about my job, and feeling like I wanted to do something more than this *gestures around at desk and living room*. I’ve been working at home for almost 2 years now, with my only office-mates being my stuffed animals (yes I’m an adult with stuffed animals, not ashamed) and my connections to the rest of my team being largely through a computer screen. I didn’t realise it at first, as the conveniences of working at home used to outweigh this loneliness. But over time, the balance has shifted, and I found myself feeling more and more disconnected from others.
It all came to a head when we went through some changes at work , which left me feeling even more lost. Finally, in the past few weeks I’ve been trying to figure out what to do next. I knew I was unhappy with my current situation, but the sheer number of options for my next step were overwhelming me. I’ve been applying for jobs, getting interviews, but still feeling like I’m driving a card blindfolded with no map – just hoping I end up somewhere good with no destination or clear path to get there. Then one day I was scrolling through LinkedIn, reading more motivational posts and calls-to-action to make change in my life. I happened upon Toni‘s profile and was intrigued. She viewed my profile and I viewed hers, then resumed my scrolling and stressing. That could have been the end of the story.
However, I was surprised to receive a message to my inbox. Not only did she introduce herself, she sent me a personalised video message. Honestly, I was blown away. Firstly, someone had noticed me, and secondly, taken the time to reach out not just by saying ‘hi let’s connect’ in a message, but taking the time to record a little video. I immediately replied, and we set a time for a virtual coffee. I am not exaggerating when I say I think that virtual coffee may have changed my life.
I was pretty nervous before our call. I’m a people person, but I’m also a bit of an anxious overthinker sometimes, and so talking to a new person, especially in a more professional capacity made me break out in a sweat. Within seconds Toni put me at ease; she has a natural energy about her which I resonated with strongly. We talked about her work running The Social Society, my current role, and my passion for and work around wellbeing. Just getting to discuss my work and ideas with someone was amazing, it made me feel motivated and helped to bring back some of the creative fire which I’ve been missing recently. I didn’t know what to expect going into our call, but by the end of it I was feeling positive and even excited.
We made plans to keep in touch and continue discussing ways we might work together and/or support each other. I came away from the call energized, and with a lot of thoughts buzzing around my brain. The biggest one was that just connecting with someone had really turned around my whole outlook. I have been sat at my desk in my living room for almost 2 years now, and that’s meant I haven’t had a lot of contact with human beings apart from my husband (side note I got married in April this year!) As a people person whose aforementioned awkwardness often encourages me to stay at home and avoid people, it was the push I needed. Since then, I have been doing my best to make connections with other people, and not overthink them.
This has meant everything from making a LinkedIn post asking for support on figuring out my strengths, through to re-connecting with old friends, and also seizing opportunities I come across to connect with new people. Every time I comment on someone’s post, send an email, or have a call, I face a little knot of anxiety in my stomach, and a tiny voice saying ‘who are you to reach out to them!?’ ‘they don’t want to hear what YOU have to say’ and other such mean things. But I press post, send, or answer the phone anyway. Because I know that at the other side of the fear is opportunity, and I just need to open myself up to it.
It’s still early days for my new approach, but I am committing to showing up, saying yes to opportunity, and also putting more of myself out there. This week I’ve scheduled a lunch and learn, a free virtual coaching session, and am also messaging some old connections to get back in touch. I’ve realised that the simple act of putting yourself out there immediately opens you up to more opportunities, and I am ready to take them.
Part of this showing up is writing this blog, and committing to keep writing. I know I’ve not had the best track record of consistency with my content, and I realise a lot of that comes back to fear. Fear of being judged, fear of nobody reading, fear of my words not connecting with anyone. But the best way to not connect is to keep quiet, stay small, and not try. So I’m vowing to be loud, big, and take messy, imperfect action. After all, the only way to progress is to move forward, no matter how small the steps are.
Do you have a top tip for connecting with others? Have you got a networking or other connection success story you want to share? Do you want to have a virtual coffee with me? Let me know in the comments, and lets connect.
As always, you can write your next chapter whenever you want – you decide when your book begins.
Jenny
xx
Your Book Begins 